The Silent Witness

I can see them from here. But they actually can't see me. I just wanna back to the atmosphere where they live in together. I wanna get the second chance or maybe my last chance of life. But, how can i get it? I'm here. In different sky. In different land. In different air. I can difference the truth and the lie. I know everything. And i hope i can tell everyone to be honest during the rest of their life, because there will no the second chance. Once you get here, you will never come back.

Sometimes i just don't know what i talk, what i say, what i write, because i just do it directly without thinking about it any longer. I'm not a perfect person, but i can do my best in every aspects in my life. Sometimes I'm thinking about something that abstract, and see something with my own way of thinking.. Is it weird? I don't care about people's thinking, just say whatever you want...People can do it. I choose my way for being me... If i lose my hope today, I know God have the best plan for my life, more than I expect.

I don't really understand about what happened on my mind. My subconscious always remembering me about all of the good and memorable memories. I don't care how hard i try to make everything pretending that everything is okay, i can't do that. Maybe many people thinking that i'm the careless person because i act enjoyable and i act nothing happen, in the other side my heart is crying. That is so hurt me. I can't say anything or do anything to proof that i'm not what they said. Because i don't know the way to speak up my side opinion about this thing, and i want to speak up my real characteristic, i can't just follow another people opinion that isn't compatible with my principe which have connection with my life and not everything that happen in my life, i must tell it to another people because i just tell about my life which is common thing or i think another people can make a solution about it. I have the right to manage my own life, because it is my ...

I don't know what to say now. All of the things that i do just to pretend that i never know and assumed that is nothing happen. And maybe this make me feel the pain of remember it. I hope i have the delete button in my life, so i could delete some memories that i never want it. And one of the most important button is refresh, refresh my minds for everthing that have happened in my life. Sometimes when i was driving car or motorcycle, when i want to sleep, and even in my dreams those memories keep coming to my mind and make me review it again and again about all of the things in the past. I can't imagine that all of those had already in the past. I do really begging to God to give me a chance to fix it. To fix everything or change something. I always wondering that it will never happen, and i can stop the time or i hope i can review some moments that i want. But all of that just impossible to happen. I just pretend that I don't know anything. I closed my eyes, my ears, my fe...

I don't know what to say now. All of the things that i do just to pretend that i never know and assumed that is nothing happen. And maybe this make me feel the pain of remember it. I hope i have the delete button in my life, so i could delete some memories that i never want it. And one of the most important button is refresh, refresh my minds for everthing that have happened in my life. Sometimes when i was driving car or motorcycle, when i want to sleep, and even in my dreams those memories keep coming to my mind and make me review it again and again about all of the things in the past. I can't imagine that all of those had already in the past. I do really begging to God to give me a chance to fix it. To fix everything or change something. I always wondering that it will never happen, and i can stop the time or i hope i can review some moments that i want. But all of that just impossible to happen. I just pretend that I don't know anything. I closed my eyes, my ears, my fe...

Do you ever feel like hope is gone? Nothing can do... You've broke all of the hopes and dreams... You throw them away faraway.. You leave it in somewhere you don't know.. You've lose it... and somehow like you'll never ever get it back..

Forgive someone, yes i did it. But the hurt is still give me pain. That's so hard to remove the hurt from me. You betrayed me. ckckck. You are so damnly annoying. I believe you a hundred percent, and what did you do? You betray me. Thanks for the betraying.

Don't know what to say now. Don't know what to do now. Don't know what i feel now. Don't know anything. Nothing can make me happy Nothing can make my life better Nothing can change it Nothing to do I just lose my spirit to life

This story about my life past time. Suddenly i remember about some of my memories when i was a junior high student. Someone ever said to me that:"if you want me to die, i will die, so it can make you happy." When i heard that words, i felt so happy because i didn't know the deeply meaning of these words and because of i heard its from my enemy. I just don't care about those words, and i didn't keep its on my memories. But i wrote its, in my diary book. And yesterday when i opened that book again, to read my past, i think that its not important but its memorable..hahhaha... i don't know why, but i know that it was a part of my life past time. Just keep it in my diary book. And the time will burry its from my memory forever.